Tag Archives: rants

A Word To The WISE

My WISE package is posted and is on its way. I may drop some hints later as to where it’s going, but for now ‘not within the UK’ will do. Turns out the people were supposed to be picking up the electrocuting blanket between 9 and 5 (not what they told us yesterday). We rescheduled for Monday, which didn’t stop them putting a card through the door to tell us we weren’t in today. Gah.

It’s Chriiiistmaaaas!

As I walked up to the front doors of our local-ish massive supermarket yesterday, I was slightly bewildered to find that the space to the left of the entrance to which I was automatically heading in order to pick up a trolley actually contained none. The initial dilemma was soon sorted out – there were some spare trolleys to the right of the entrance, but then I looked more closely at what was being displayed in the former trolley space. Yes, you’ve guessed – trees and decorations. As I pushed my displaced trolley and self into the store I noticed that the “Automatic-Barriers-That-Let-Shoppers-In-But-Not-Out-Again” (TM) were emblazoned with the words ‘Merry Christmas’. Add to this that the major display space at the front of the store was stacked with Christmas items, and that mince pies have been in stock for weeks (best before next Tuesday).

So, this is Christmas and what have you done? Another year over and a new one just begun… If you had any plans to achieve anything before the end of 2008, abandon all hope. Christmas is here and your time must be spent buying food, writing cards, buying presents, decorating the house, buying wine, organising parties, buying a new fancy outfit and singing carols.

But hurry, the fleeting Christmas spirit never lasts long, after a few days of this you’ll be hankering for your normal life back again, wanting to avoid the rich food and increasing overdraft, by my reckoning we’ve got until about November 24th to fit our celebrations in before it all just gets a bit too much. 2009 will have to start early on 25th November, update your calenders now – or even better go and buy new ones while the real spending spirit of Christmas is still with us.

Have a good one

xxx

What it says on the tin

Dear BBC Please can you fix it for me to have my old schedule of telly back, it was very good and the one I have now is rubbish…

I would like the following programmes back, the same as they were in the early nineties without recent embellishments:

Top Gear (some day very soon you’ll put Jeremy Clarkson and the Crazy Frog next to each other and you’ll look from one to the other and won’t be able to tell the difference).

The Clothes Show (preferably with Jeff Banks).

Food and Drink (not the current incarnation, the old one with the bloke with the beard doing the cooking and Jilly Goolden muttering about burnt pencils).

Home Front

Gardener’s World

Please could I have one of these on every weeknight in the same timeslot, and then get rid of all of the other daytime and weekday evening lifestyle programmes that are continually trying to get a different slant, or inject more ‘reality’ into these situations. I want to know how to paper a wall, not watch someone answer questions in order to ‘win’ a team of decorating wannabes applyind paper to a room that they are not allowed to see.

Oh and can you also fix it for me to have Jim’ll Fix It back on a Saturday evening.

Thank you Emily (28) from Swansea.

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In other news: Happy birthday to Alan Rickman (59 today), that makes him 31 years older than me for another 11 days – or something like that anyway.

Mug?

Or cup?

I’m sure most under 70 year olds in todays society would choose the former, so it seems to have been a popular decision on the whole to replace the church cups with mugs.

There is still a full set of bone china cups and saucers for the traditional contingent, so in theory everyone should be happy.

X is not happy. despite the fact that the cups that were replaced were;

a) a stupid design allowing only one finger to hold the handle, and to contain only enough tea or coffee to wonder where the rest went.

b) mostly broken – there were enough for about 1/3 of the congregation to drink not enough tea or coffee from after a morning service.

and c) decreed by some weird decree (probably thought up by X come to think of it) only to be used with the not-actually-quite-matching-saucers so that most people spilled hot liquids down themselves/ their children at some point trying to balance cup, saucer, biscuit, random-piece-of-paper-that-you’ve-been-handed-on-the-way-out-of-church-and-haven’t-had-chance-to-look-at-yet, etc. (I usually spilled tea every week, but I suspect that’s rather more to do with me than the cups).

I think that X has decided that the useless cups had become so ingrained into our church culture that they must be part of the constitution or something. Needless to say she got out of me where I’d hidden them and took one back to use for herself.

I’m sure there’s a sermon in there somewhere…

Birthday Honours

The deserving:
John Hurt
Roger McGough
Pam Ayres
Phil Redmond

The less deserving:
Richard Whitely
Patricia Routledge

The totally undeserving:
my ex-headmaster (who for some reason I feel compelled to let remain anonymous)

The world can be both a fair and unfair place.

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The Gower Festival was excellent. Special mention must go to Emily Portman and Lauren McCormick, John Tams, Coope Boyes and Simpson, Bob Fox and Oliver Knight (on sound). All in wonderful surroundings, great weather and with an entertaining duck chorus.

“Red and Gold are royal colours…”

kudos to anyone (apart from Rhys) who can spot where those lyrics came from without the aid of Google.

I was looking at some internet sites the other day for pretty Christmas decorations. I wasn’t really intending to buy, you might say I was windows shopping (sorry). But something came to my attention: “Festive Colours” seems these days to describe pretty much any colour you want, therefore becoming a somewhat redundant phrase. Now we always decorate our (green) tree with red and gold decorations, and white lights. I will also concede that silver has a place in the Yuletide colour wheel, as well as brown, and yellow (although the latter is normally just a cheaper version of gold), but there was, for example a set of lights that flashed on and off ‘in festive colours’, these colours were ….pink….orange….purple. No, sorry. I realise that this rant is in danger of competing with ‘the bloke down the pub’, so I’ll stop now.

Love the new Marks and Spencer Christmas ads though, lovely Mr Patrick Stewart, mmm.

Having no taste

Wood has suggested that the above is a description of yours truly in the comments thread of my Greenbelt review post. Surely if I had no taste I would have just sat and listened without opinion to pretty much anything that came my way at Greenbelt. Actually I’d probably not have forked out the cash to go away for the weekend, as having no taste I would not have understood the reasons for being at Cheltenham Racecourse that weekend, and just stayed in. I certainly wouldn’t be seen posting anywhere like this, as a person totally devoid of taste would not have anything very interesting to say about anything.

I think what Wood meant to say was that I had bad taste, but then tragically went on to prove that that the comment was more worthily directed at himself.

The Spree sucked. Billy rocked. Case closed.

Ok, to clarify

this wiblog is not the place to offend people from the West Midlands. For people that are obviously too dimwitted to pick up any contextual clues, it should be stated that I have a large family from that part of the world, many of whom still live there, also a number of friends.

You’d think that people would have the sense when they have just read an entry about accent/dialogue to not then post discriminatory comments about people with a different accent to them. Clearly not.

The Black country dialect with which I grew up with, and indeed the Brummie accent as a whole is one of the most wonderful accents in the British Isles. Lilting and carefree for much of the time, but perfect for sarcastic dry wit – think Lenny Henry, Jasper Carrot, Noddy Holder.

I shall leave the comments on the previous log, so you’ll know I’m not ranting about nothing, and perhaps the guilty will repent.

tarrarabit.

WAKE UP!

It appears that the internet is falling asleep. Blogs are falling behind in their updates, forums are left desolate and deserted, inboxes remain resolutely blank.

It could be just me, but the internet seems to be having a quiet day today. This would not normally be a problem, but having set aside today to sort out a wardrobe full of junk, I’m finding myself having frequent web-breaks, only to find that nothing has been updated anywhere since about Friday (OK, slightly exaggerated, but still, not much.)

In other news, barn dance was OK, could have done with more people willing to actually dance (I’m not sure why most people were there if they refused to get out of their seats and dance a little) and less children risking life and limb by running around in the middle of the dance floor. Still, an enjoyable evening with good beer.

Book club meets tomorrow – we discuss White Teeth, whilst drinking more lovely beer.