Monthly Archives: December 2009

… I’m as of today twelve weeks and one day pregnant.

I’m sure all of your prayers, thoughts and comments made all of the difference this time. The support we have seen through from that first post outlining the situation has been massive, and we know that we’ve always had someone we could talk to. The delays and long silences stop here. Thank you for putting up with them, but they were very necessary. Really a big thank you for everything, please don’t stop praying yet though, we have a good six months to go before we even meet the child currently known as Midget (Jones), and I’m sure we’ll need your support afterwards too!

So to fill you in on the last couple of months (the delay in posting was 3 weeks, 3 days by the way), we had a positive pregnancy test on the 29th October, after which we were told we had to sit tight, keep taking the medication and wait for a scan inĀ  3 weeks time. This is a special advance scan given to IVF people, normally pregnant women have to wait 10 weeks. We had the scan after 2 weeks as I was having lots of cramps (probably caused by the medications). At that stage I was pregnant with twins, both with heartbeats and doing fine. I was scheduled for another scan in another couple of weeks, where one twin was shown not to have made it (this is very common, most women would never know the other twin was there, it was only that I’d had the early scan that it showed). Midget, however was declared ‘perfect’ so that was some compensation to the huge sadness of that day. Gradually we learned to concentrate more on what we had than what we had lost. After that we got caught up in the hubbub of midwife appointments, dating scans etc, plus a couple of trips to the Early Pregnancy Unit after some slight bleeding, but really everything is fine. I am overly paranoid about this whole thing, I will freely admit that, but it has taken so long to get this far that I think I have the right to be a little more neurotic than I might otherwise be. Morning sickness pretty much came and went with our lost twin, odd moment aside, so my only real symptom now is tiredness. But I’m happy, being able to finally tell people, and have proper conversations without avoiding any elephants in the room is such luxury. This amount of emotional baggage can never be truly left behind, but the lightening of the load has been immense.

We’re now getting ready for a lovely family Christmas and New Year, with people coming to us so we’re not travelling at all really.

Hope you all have wonderful Christmases too.

Thank you again

xxx

You Are Not Alone

Infertility is a long, long journey. From first suspicions that things are not going as smoothly to even the first medical consultation is such a big step it can take years. Like many traumatic events in life it is necessary to work through the stages of grief. Not just once, but with almost every new progression and setback from first inklings to every failed attempt at treatment.

Somewhere along this path, often quite late on comes the acknowledgement that this is not a journey to be made alone. There is support, there are many, many others going through this same thing at the same time. And of course there are internet forums where all of these many people can provide mutual help, advice, support and sometimes a virtual shoulder to cry on.

These are not medical professionals, neither are they close friends (in fact many people will very much protect their identity, more so than anywhere else whilst posting on these boards). What they are though is a mass of people who immediately understand, no explanation needed, and a community where infertility is the norm. The importance of this can never be underestimated.

The most popular forum in Britain, and one that I anonymously frequent is here, but there are many more across the world. It takes a while to work around the conventions, bubbles, fairydust, many many acronyms, but for those at any stage on this journey it can make a lot of difference.

And remember – You Are Not Alone.

(Edited to add, sorry just okayed a couple of comments I thought I had approved ages ago that were still in my pending file. Oops, sorry guys, and thanks xxx)