nearly 4 weeks since the last post. Sorry about that. It’s not gone so much quickly as just in a total blur. Megan is asleep on my lap at the moment, and I’m typing one handed so we’ll see how it goes.
Thank you for all your lovely comments, they do mean a lot. Megan is doing fine, and sleeping reasonably at nights, meaning we’re all ok. Evenings are often another matter, but as long as the nights are ok, it’s all liveable with.
Midget clearly doesn’t know this. There are no signs of imminent arrival, not really any signs of arrival whatsoever, I think it’s fair to say she’ll be late.
Since last blog we’ve had a couple more scans (no extra pictures I’m afraid, they’re for routine scans only) Midget is fine, if on the big side. We’re going if possible for a water birth, and have an inflatable pool ready to go in the room next to me. We’ve been to NCT classes and met lots of lovely people and some lovely babies already. Practically we’re ready for a baby to be in the house (Moses basket with clean sheets and a teddy bear who looks more impatient than I do to meet his bedmate, changing table and wardrobe made up and full of stuff, clothes washed and sorted, hospital bag packed just in case etc etc) Mentally and emotionally – well can you ever be mentally and emotionally prepared for this? I doubt it, we’re very keen for her to be here anyway.
As for me, you can see from the picture (although it is over 2 weeks old) that I’ve got pretty big too. And I’m still doing Brownies, which is fab, and a great way of getting out of the obsessional headspace of a pregnant woman. I’m overtired, bored and uncomfortable most of the time, my ribs hurt from being pushed outwards and kicked, my feet are like balloons, but I feel and know I am so, so blessed to be in this position. I often still can’t help but smile when I feel her move. I am totally amazed that my body is actually, finally doing this thing and in a couple of weeks at the most I will be a mother.
Thank you again for all your comments and prayers, the only thing left to say now really is:
Sorry, it’s been a while. We’re all fine, but busy or tired still, but not foreseeing any improvement in either of those situations any time soon, thought I could do a quick blog, and maybe if I don’t feel like I have to catch you up on everything, I might manage to blog more regularly while I wait for Midget’s impending arrival…
Midget is getting pretty big now, pushing out my tummy and my ribcage, and still wriggling for more room. I’m not sure how petite women cope at this stage and beyond, at least at 5’10” there’s a good deal of potential stretching space!
I’ve had another scan, but later scans don’t come with photos around these parts, I should get a bump pic on here at some point though, need to take some more recent ones.
It looks like my latest stint at vegetarianism is coming to an end after 2 years, I’m craving meat and my iron count is low, so my midwife suggested I just go for the bacon sandwich and enjoy! Saves the problem of when to introduce meat to Midget’s diet too.
Brownies is going well, and I’m enjoying taking a bit of a backseat role whilst still being involved this term, pack holiday next month will be exhausting, but a good distraction from all this pregnancy malarkey!
Anyhow, should go and get some lunch (would be a BLT, but we don’t have most of the ingredients in). Will try and manage a weekly blog from now on :)
Sorry, been a bit quiet lately. When I’ve not been busy I’ve been either asleep or too tired to blog. Anyway, thought you might like to see some pictures of my beautiful daughter at 20 weeks. Yes, she’s becoming a little more real now :D
Thanks you for all your amazing comments, this news still hasn’t sunk in yet, it’s all fantasy talk!
Just a quick update really to say everything’s fine. I’m 16 1/2 weeks pregnant now. We went to see the midwife this lunchtime, and got to hear Midget’s heartbeat. All of my worries (of which there are bucketloads) flew out of the window for that minute or so. Over the past few days I’ve been having a few tummy flutters that I’m becoming more and more convinced are Midget moving around. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t feel a 12cm baby a bit more, but I suppose I’ll soon be getting kicked from the inside and wishing myself back to these days of vague flutters :D
Thought I’d better properly introduce Midget with a photo and all, it’s actually 3 weeks old by now (scan at 11 weeks, now 14 weeks) but I’m hopefully not going to need another one until 20 weeks, so this is the best I can do.
Pretty good best though, eh?
In answer to questions that’s crossed legs, not a dolphin tail or a mermaid, and if you think Midge looks like a Klingon in this one you should see the one I didn’t post!
Life otherwise is fine, lots of tiredness, but a lovely Christmas and New Year nevertheless. Looking forward to seeing parents who had to delay their New Year visit after they both came down with post Christmas flu.
Am sad that David Tennant is no longer The Doctor, but looking forward to Matt Smith, also looking forward to Neighbours being back today after a 3 week break – hooray!
Hope you all have a great 2010, we know we will :)
… I’m as of today twelve weeks and one day pregnant.
I’m sure all of your prayers, thoughts and comments made all of the difference this time. The support we have seen through from that first post outlining the situation has been massive, and we know that we’ve always had someone we could talk to. The delays and long silences stop here. Thank you for putting up with them, but they were very necessary. Really a big thank you for everything, please don’t stop praying yet though, we have a good six months to go before we even meet the child currently known as Midget (Jones), and I’m sure we’ll need your support afterwards too!
So to fill you in on the last couple of months (the delay in posting was 3 weeks, 3 days by the way), we had a positive pregnancy test on the 29th October, after which we were told we had to sit tight, keep taking the medication and wait for a scan in 3 weeks time. This is a special advance scan given to IVF people, normally pregnant women have to wait 10 weeks. We had the scan after 2 weeks as I was having lots of cramps (probably caused by the medications). At that stage I was pregnant with twins, both with heartbeats and doing fine. I was scheduled for another scan in another couple of weeks, where one twin was shown not to have made it (this is very common, most women would never know the other twin was there, it was only that I’d had the early scan that it showed). Midget, however was declared ‘perfect’ so that was some compensation to the huge sadness of that day. Gradually we learned to concentrate more on what we had than what we had lost. After that we got caught up in the hubbub of midwife appointments, dating scans etc, plus a couple of trips to the Early Pregnancy Unit after some slight bleeding, but really everything is fine. I am overly paranoid about this whole thing, I will freely admit that, but it has taken so long to get this far that I think I have the right to be a little more neurotic than I might otherwise be. Morning sickness pretty much came and went with our lost twin, odd moment aside, so my only real symptom now is tiredness. But I’m happy, being able to finally tell people, and have proper conversations without avoiding any elephants in the room is such luxury. This amount of emotional baggage can never be truly left behind, but the lightening of the load has been immense.
We’re now getting ready for a lovely family Christmas and New Year, with people coming to us so we’re not travelling at all really.
Infertility is a long, long journey. From first suspicions that things are not going as smoothly to even the first medical consultation is such a big step it can take years. Like many traumatic events in life it is necessary to work through the stages of grief. Not just once, but with almost every new progression and setback from first inklings to every failed attempt at treatment.
Somewhere along this path, often quite late on comes the acknowledgement that this is not a journey to be made alone. There is support, there are many, many others going through this same thing at the same time. And of course there are internet forums where all of these many people can provide mutual help, advice, support and sometimes a virtual shoulder to cry on.
These are not medical professionals, neither are they close friends (in fact many people will very much protect their identity, more so than anywhere else whilst posting on these boards). What they are though is a mass of people who immediately understand, no explanation needed, and a community where infertility is the norm. The importance of this can never be underestimated.
The most popular forum in Britain, and one that I anonymously frequent is here, but there are many more across the world. It takes a while to work around the conventions, bubbles, fairydust, many many acronyms, but for those at any stage on this journey it can make a lot of difference.
And remember – You Are Not Alone.
(Edited to add, sorry just okayed a couple of comments I thought I had approved ages ago that were still in my pending file. Oops, sorry guys, and thanks xxx)
I want to start this post by reassuring you all that you have been most excellent companions on this IVF journey. Your support and prayers have made more difference than you will ever know, and we will always be grateful.
Another link today, and it’s unfortunately one I wish I could put under the noses of one or two people that have not helped in our various dalliances with fertility treatment. I repeat it’s absolutely not getting at anyone here, I partly link it because it’s so well written and provides many brilliant insights, but partly because a lot of it just needs to be out there as much as possible.